Random

I am truly all over the place with my thoughts, I have no one set thing I chose to discuss.

I am now thinking about so many things, I just hope I remember to put it all down.
First I want to talk about what I believe, as far as our existence goes.

The Earth is so infinitely small it is ridiculous.
I can't even get all my thoughts together to make sense.
Humans think themselves superior because they have made a mess of this planet (no I am not a tree hugger)
Why do we think we are so much better than the other life on this earth? Why do we think that we are so special that when we die there is another place for us to go?

I accept that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, so I know that what is me, in its absolute most minuscule point, will always be. But this is not my consciousness!
What we think is our soul, our intellect, our inner self...is just a bunch of symbols that WE have created and all -in unison- have decided means this- and so it IS.

I can see if we didn't know our history, our evolution...but we know that we made all this shit up!

I know I am not making sense.

I accept that something had to create us. I don't accept though, that whatever it was that did, knew what it was doing. I don't think it was on purpose at all! I don't think that our creator even knows we exist. why would he/she/it? we are so small (that is a lame word, but damn what's a better word...infinitesimally small!)

I think that the matrix is kind of on the right tract. We are all the universe I think. Sometimes I see little tiny flashes of light...like twinkles in the space between. I think that is the big bang for a new universe.

Naysayers will say that it can't be so because the big bang was so "hot"...to us...so small...of course it was hot as fuck! but to us...so big...it was nothing. I believe that we have our measurements wrong in some way; especially time.

*(I don't edit, so please forgive me if my grammar isn't stellar, and I am just kind of free writing, so again forgive me if I leave some topic hanging on a cliff.)
*(I always wanted to have a boyfriend who is a physicist that would be able to mathmatically back up all of my claims. I say boyfriend because any random person would just "peshaw" me like...dumb ho! what are you talking about....But if I am banging a physicist...who I assume doesn't get good lovin on the regular...he would listen to my ideas and help me work them out...)

Back to the subject at hand:
Man has decided on how he wants to measure time, but I don't think that time works so nice and pretty as we have it.

I don't think it is a coincidence that some events seem to fly by and others seem to drag their bald asses against the ground! An ant's life span isn't nearly as long as ours, but their lives don't fly by as we see them. They probably think their lives are long as...well an ants.

An example is like a chase scene in one of our movies, or in real life. It doesn't just start and end just like that, but when you kill a bug it quick to us like, we see the roach, he tries to run. you stomp the bastard....But from the roach's POV he was having to run for his life. damning himself for leaving the dark corner....running for hours, thinking he got away, but then comes the pain! he was stomped on and his back is broken and his legs are all wiggling everywhere...It's endless pain for them.

I am boring myself...
SUCK ONE!

What do I do?...I over think 2

What else do I over think?
EVERYTHING
I am seeing a 22 yr old married man. I know he only wants me for sex right, but I have convinced my self that he loves me and we can possibly have a life together.
Why would I do this to myself?
Because I am a woman and we love to complicate EVERYTHING!
I couldn't just appreciate the fact that I had an awesome friend who I also could have NSA sex with...no, I had to twist and turn everything he said into a new meaning that he wants me, and he is going to leave his wife.
THEY NEVER LEAVE THEIR WIVES!
And I know this, but I still pine over him.
I have been waiting for him to call me back for 4 days now.
I know he will eventually, for sex..but I want more...
What a glutton I am.

What I do...I over think

I don't know if this will be an ongoing thing, but I realize that I have to post this bit of information for my own good, or else I will continue to replay these thoughts in my mind for eternity.

I have a little boy who loves his tv...tv is his best friend, but it is no friend of mine.
I sit and stare at these characters because he wants me to watch with him.
I participate and laugh just as he does, but all the while, I am thinking.

I think about silly things, that I am sure the creators of the show had no intention, but I still believe these thoughts while I have them. I am sure these people sat and conspired these evil plans to subliminally alter these young impressionable minds into to thinking such things as their own thoughts.

Thoughts like, you must be part of a diversified group of friends. One black child, one white, one Asian, one mixed, and one spaz. I find this dynamic in the children's show the Backyardigans.
I know if you know this show you are thinking, these are animals...but they arent!

Tasha the hippo, is a no it all asian girl
Uniqua, is the "thing" that I at first thought was a black girl, but she is actually a mixed race child because she is "unique"
Tyrone is the moose who is a "cool" black child
Austin the kangaroo, is the nerdy white boy...who is probably gay
and Pablo the penguin is the SPAZ
(side note-pablo was the name of a disney character pabo the cold blooded penguin)

I have no problem with these characters, I just define them this way because we watch the SAME shows over and over and over...I had no choice but to humanize them.

Yeah, I am going to have to make multiple blogs about kids shows. I don't want your eyes to bleed...whoever you are...the one person to ever read this!

Do you?

DO YOU?


do you say cheese when you smile?
duck if someone says?
start to run just because your friend does?
clean your nails with your teeth?
and eat it?
know what a dutch oven is?
ever given one?
fart while you cough?
sleep with one sock on?
swallow the mucus in your throat when you are sick?
use wet wipes after you poo?
shake your fat around?
have any fat to shake?
poo a little when you sneeze?
think this is gross?
shoot kittens?
run over rabbits?
slay dragons?
believe in unicorns?
eat candy corn?
rub me the wrong way?
rub yourself?
vote?
understand me?
understand yourself?
care?

That baby's gonna get me arrested

Michael Jr loves "Thomas and friends." if you don't know, which i am sure you don't. it is a kids show about stupid toy trains that don't do anything, but George Carlin narrates thier lives on the island of Sodor.
I want to take a little detour and talk about thomas for a second.
The trains are alive...well they talk. and they do things together and learn lessons, but they still have drivers...I don't understand why they need a driver if they talk, and why the driver allows the trains to just go off and have whatever misadventure they are destin to have that day in order to teach the lesson.
ANYWAY
michael's favorite train on the show is Percy.

Before I knew about this I thought he was saying something else. He is two... he can't enunciate that well...I am not going to say anymore...i hope you aren't a moron...

so anyway, at the store one day in line about to check out,
Michael starts to talk about ...Percy
"I want Percy. Mama Percy! Mama Percy in here!" (pointing at a pair of underpants with percy on them.)
The other ppl can't see this...even if they could...it wouldn't matter...he keeps talking about
Percy!
When I don't respond of course he starts to yell and cry about it..
"Percy mommy! I want some! I want it!"
My chest is about to explode. Why won't she just explain to EVERYONE staring and dialing social services on their cell phones?
I don't know, I froze.
The cashier isn't even scanning my shit anymore!
Okay, this didn't actually happen, but it is my worse fear.
It is true that he says Percy like that other word...I just thought I would give you a laugh.